My kids are small: 5, 3, 20 months and a newborn. The older two have recently become more frightened of big storms. If they hear "thunderstorm" in the forecast, they immediately begin plans to head to the basement. Each time, I have to explain that thunderstorms aren't cause for worry. Lightening is just a bright light; thunder is just a loud noise. When I can take something unknown and scary and put it in simpler terms, they grasp it. It is no longer an issue. We can curl up on the couch and read a book as the storm brews outside.
Your team may be facing some serious "unknowns" in their lives: job security, work performance, new prospects, promotions, internal conflicts, and so on. Worry crops up if issues aren't addressed and discussed. As a Coach, your job is to take those scary things and help the coachee see them from an unemotional, informed perspective.
Taking from Dale Carnegie's book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, he advises the following:
- Ask the coachee, "What is the worst that can possibly happen?"
- Work with them to prepare to accept the worst
- Help them try to improve on the worst
Honest discussions about "the worst" often bring worry to a manageable level; especially when the coachee realizes they can handle the worst. Feeling that you have no control brings stress and worry. Coaching may mean helping a team member formulate a "plan B" (even if it is never employed). Doing this allows a person to feel in control. Alleviating the unknowns and lessening stress is beneficial to everyone because we pay an exorbitant price for worry in terms of our physical and mental health.
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